Shibboleth

I met with Lord Cholmondeley on the train to Woolfardisworthy;
His brow it was furrowed with gravest concern.
For he'd had to cut short his holiday in Costessey
To see his urologist, a doctor named Cockburn.
We were joined by Lord Worcester, a right bantam rooster
Who'd just been in Barnoldswick at his country estate.
But the weather turned drizzly and his houseguest, Earl Wriothesley,
Just wouldn't leave; so he made his escape.

From Aslackby to Osbournby,
From Leominster to Godmanchester to Lympne:
You mustn't assume you can say what you see,
Or you might end up feeling quite dim!
For in Ulgham the locals say /ˈʌfəm/;
To the natives of Blidworth it's /ˈblɪd.əθ/.
Any British name could bring you to shame
For it just might be a shibboleth.

At Stivichall, Lord Cholmondeley took leave to withdraw
To a wagon-lit carriage, in hopes of some sleep.
We were then joined at Ratlinghope by old Lady Fetherstonhaugh
As well as the grandson of Samuel Pepys.
Then soon, Robert Maugham waltzed in with aplomb,
As he travelled from Puncknowle to Wybunbury.
Lady Sarah Dalziel, dressed all in pastel,
Was bound for her uncle's in Trottiscliffe.

From Aslackby to Osbournby,
From Leominster to Godmanchester to Lympne:
You mustn't assume you can say what you see,
Or you might end up feeling quite dim!
For in Ulgham the locals say /ˈʌfəm/;
To the natives of Blidworth it's /ˈblɪd.əθ/.
Any British name could bring you to shame
For it just might be a shibboleth.

From Aslackby to Osbournby,
From Leominster to Godmanchester to Lympne:
You mustn't assume you can say what you see,
Or you might end up feeling quite dim!
For in Ulgham the locals say /ˈʌfəm/;
To the natives of Blidworth it's /ˈblɪd.əθ/.
Any British name could bring you to shame
For it just might be a shibboleth.