Sir Reginald's Marvellous Organ

O, I have an organ that's reasonably large,
And I'll gladly display it without fee or charge.
It's made of hard wood which I rub every day;
And whenever she wants to, I let my wife play.
It's adorned with two nuts; there are balls hanging down.
For its age, it's exceedingly fine!
And instead of some roses, I'd rather have tulips
On this marvellous organ of mine.

I pull out my knob, and I pump really well.
Pressing hard with my knees makes my organ to swell:
It increases in volume by several degrees;
Then I finger it deftly with long-practised ease.
All occasions for coupling I gladly embrace
When I'm making sweet music divine;
And instead of some roses, I'd rather have tulips
On this marvellous organ of mine.

When I play with my organ, what pleasure it brings!
I sing out with such joy, the entire house rings!
Although for Queen Victoria I'd happily play,
I'd prefer if you'd please keep Prince Albert away.
O what fun a duet is, for when we press close,
Then how nimbly our limbs do entwine!
And instead of some roses, I'd rather have tulips
On this marvellous organ of mine.
And instead of some roses, I'd rather have tulips
On this marvellous organ of mine!